Have you ever felt that you were experiencing,
but could not feel the experience
That events were taking place,
but in you they were having little effect
Like trying to pet a soft furry animal,
however you were not able to feel its softness
As if you were wearing invisible gloves
Have you ever felt like you had a barrier around you,
through which you could not be reached
I always seek attention thinking
I cannot get enough
It has occurred to me that I may be getting plenty,
but cannot accept it
We need to attain love
but will never get enough if we cannot use what is given
Frozen feelings, causing a never ending hunger
Satisfaction is not attainable
unless what is received is absorbed
So long I have been frozen stiff inside
Forced at an early age into a shell,
I never looked back
I needed protection from the negative I was feeling
I wanted to show how I felt,
but I did not know how
There were times I had to falsify emotional reactions
so as not to seem abnormal
I would wonder why I could not feel,
as others seemed to
Like I was apart from myself while events occurred
When it was time to feel I would leave
Lost in a fantasy of my own creation
A safe place from the storm out there

Douglas A. Walker

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