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A Special Letter to my son, Jason

Dear Jason:

I am writing to you because I find the words difficult to say in person. How does one express all they feel to someone, when the words don't come easy.

I've tried to tell you in so many ways and I'm sure you know this already. But I want to make sure that you do know it and will always remember it, so I'm doing it this way.

I know that your life hasn't been a bed of roses.

I know that many times you've wanted to give up because you felt there was no reason to go on, but your inner strength and your strong will has always managed to keep you going. I just want you to know that although I have not always agreed on the road you have chosen to take at a particular time in your life,I still love you. Just because I don't always agree with your decisions in life, doesn't change my love for you, nor will it ever.

A mother's love is unconditional and that is what I offer you - unconditional love. No matter what you do, what paths you choose (right or wrong) that will never change how I feel about you. You were my first born, and I remember your birth like it was yesterday. The joy I felt as I held you in my arms. The wonderous feelings of joy and happiness as I felt that my life had a meaning. I was your mother and that was a good reason for me to continue.

I loved you instantly at that moment of your birth and still do. I will always love you. I hope that someday when you are a parent, you will understand the joys that one feels when they hold their child. I hope you will know that wonderous feeling of responsibility and caring for a life that you have a part in.

Being your mother is the greatest job I've ever had and it doesn't end just because you are older and out of your own. No, my love passes that boundary of distance and continues. I hope you know that no matter what, I will be here for you. If you need someone to talk to...I will listen. If you need someone to share with...I will share with you. If you need someone to hold you....I will hold you. If you need someone to just be there...I will sit there quietyly with you. No matter what you need, just ask and if I can do it - I will. I love you and always will.

All my love,

Your mother.

January 2002

Now that a new year has begun and I see the new changes in you, I wanted to ensure that you knew that I am very proud of you. I have seen the changes in you and your growth. I'm so happy you have finally found the happiness you deserve.

Here is a poem that I dedicate to you.

What is a Son?

A son is a warm spot in your heart
and a smile on your lips.

In the beginning, he is charmingly
innocent, putting his complete trust
in you.

He comes to you for a hand to hold
and for the security only your arms
can provide.

He shares his tales of adventure and knows
how proud you are of his
discoveries and accomplishments.

All his problems can be solved by a
hug and a kiss from you, and the
bond, you share is so strong it is
almost tangible.....

Time passes, and your innocent little boy
starts to test his limits.
He lets go of your
hand to race into the midst of life
without thinking ahead or looking both ways.

His problems have grown along with him,
and he has learned that you can't always
make his life better or kiss his troubles away.

He spends much of his time away from you,
and though you long for the closeness you
once shared,
he chooses independence and privacy.

Discoveries and accomplishments aren't as
easy to come by now, and sometimes
he wonders about his worth.

But you know the worth of that young man.
He is your past and your future.
He is hopes and dreams that have made it
through each
and every disappointment and failure.

In your heart, your son is precious and
treasured.
Together, you struggle through
the years trying to find the right amount
of independence for each new stage of his life,
until finally, you had to learn to let him go.

Now you put your trust in him,
leaving that son whom you hold so dear
totally in his own care.
You hope he always remembers that you
have a hand for him to hold and arms to
provide comfort or support.

Most of all, you hope that he believes in
himself as much as you believe in him,
and that he knows how much you love him.

By Barbara Cage.

Jason, you are all of this and more!

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